I know you all want this; a place to fall out and forge allegiances with those aligned with you.
To get you going:
Boris: Lying, elitist, duplicitous and untrustworthy buffoon with bad hair.
Jez: Head in clouds, hard-line socialist, dangerous for business; has trouble with sums.
Jo Swinson: Meh, who? (just like Farron)
The Sturgeon: Vociferous nationalist; Jimmy Crankie in high heels.
Farage: Leading light and Saint to some, slippery sh!t-stirrer who provoked all this to others.
DUP: We want our cake, and we’ll damned well eat it too. Bunch of petulant kids.