Worst gigs/ shambolic experiences of all time

1982 (I think) and Dead Kennedys at Leicester.

Tense atmosphere, punks, skinheads, Hippies (like I was ha!) and others, all with different political leanings.

All of a sudden leaflets came down from the air “You are now in British Movement Territory” or some such printed nonsense, which I believe was some kind of right-wing gathering ala black shirts.

Kicked off massively. To this day I can’t remember whether the Dead Kennedys did their track “Nazi punks fuck off” but needless to say the biggest unholy riot.

Gig stopped. Can’t remember much else.

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2014 Glastonbury

Some top acts that we thought we should take in

#1 Blondie - Debbie Harry’s voice was awful - flatter than a witch’s tit - gave up after 2 songs

#2 Robert Plant - don’t know if it was his voice which was rougher than a badger’s arsehole, or the mixing which was truly shite. walked away after 20 mins

#3 Metallica - headline act on the Pyramid. Now I’ve never been into heavy metal but thought we’d give them a go. Total shite. Walked away after 3 tracks to go and wait for Massive Attack on the Other Stage.

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My God – I’ve just had the most vivid experience of deja vu

That was my first ever festival (although I’m pretty sure it was ‘94 rather than ’95) and I was at that Manics appearance and I vividly remember someone being dragged over the barriers to safety covered in blood. It particularly stuck in my mind because the group I was in spent much of the rest of the weekend wondering what happened to him. Have I just found out?

That whole weekend was quite an experience. The weather was amazing which led me to think that all festivals must be like that – I was firmly re-educated in the years that followed. I also remember getting sexually assaulted by a mystery hand while paralysed by the crowd between the sets by Lush and the Wedding Present - urghh.

I’ve had to restrain myself from getting carried away with the ‘Song’s you’ve forgotten about thread’. Music was my obsession first obsession before that was superseded by drugs and alcohol and then once again by triathlon.

I spent my youth blagging my way backstage at various gigs and I met the Manics (with Richey) several times. My brother was the real Manics fan in the family and he still has a postcard sent to him by Richey before that disappearance. I was more tragically obsessed with The Smiths and met Morrissey a couple of times. I got my mother to drive me to this recording studio in the middle of nowhere where I’d found out he was recording. She left my brother and I there for the day and we sat round waiting till he came out. We were about 13 and 15 – don’t think you’d get away with that these days. That was also a blazing hot day. He came out and sat talking to us for about an hour (also slightly strange in hindsight). This was the best thing that could have ever happened to me as the thing that struck me most of all was how ordinary he was. Following that the obsession came to an end. Timely really as he became increasingly unpleasant in the years that followed (and ever since). I can still listen to the Smiths occasionally although it’s Marr that I’m now more impressed by. Can’t listen to Morrissey’s solo stuff at all.

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That’s amazing! What a story.

The only muso I’ve ever met was Nick Heywood. I can confirm he was quite an ordinary person!

Morrissey is increasingly a knob but I’m always minded of the “Russian nobleman” story I was told by a philosopher when doing some medical ethics course…basically we all become more conservative as we get older…hopefully not too much though eh?

I can confirm though the guy going out the front wasn’t me. I was kicked by a crowd surfer but fine although it was a dramatic flow of blood. I made my way out of the back of the crowd in a dignified fashion. They parted like the Red Sea and it remains the closest experience I’ve had to being a rock star. Or maybe a leper…

My wife and I had a bet against each other for years re Richey. I bet he was going to resurface. Ever the optimist! Think the bet was £50…a high price when we were both students together. I agreed she’d won when they officially declared him dead. By that time we’d married and had joint money. So I never had to actually cough up. I’ll count that as a win. Real shame, but I still hope he’ll turn up one day, maybe when we’re both 70…

Just to add…not sure I actually remember which way I went. It’s possible my brain is filling in blanks!! I’ve certainly been over the barriers at some point in my life…I’m going to check it out with my mate and get back to you…

Nope he’s confirmed I went out the back…

Met a few, the odd ones being bumping into Phil, Joanne and Susanne from Human League on New Street in Brum while on the way to see Ultravox (we had better seats than them)

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I’ve been at the same party as Joe Satriani (at an after party in Sydney) but not met him.

I have met and drank with Seymour Duncan. (not strictly a famous muso but pretty infamous). and sat at the same table as Paul Gilbert.

Jammed with Kenwyn House at our old bass player’s house in Glastonbury.

A friend had tickets to see an up and coming comedian called Arnold Shrubb who was appearing at the Birmingham Town Hall, as the show coincided with the monthly payday drinks night four drunk people joined the few hundred others looking forward to a few laughs.

As it was drinks night the support act was skipped and it was main event only.

Arnold comes on stage, tells one joke and one of the drunk people (not me) shouts “fuck off, you’re shit” so he did and he didn’t come back, lights went up, show over. Cue a rapid departure for Mr Shouty.

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Went to a party back in Uni days; there was a hypnotist there. He hypnotised a mate of mine. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, at one point he told my mate he had ‘lost his penis’.

I’ll never forget the heartbroken look on my mate’s face when he rummaged round in his trousers and couldn’t find it. Then he started looking round the room for it, behind chairs etc. We were in tears laughing.

Anyway on our recommendation he was booked for a Paul McKenna style stage show. He got a few people on stage, tried to hypnotise them, couldn’t. Eventually said ‘that’s it, sorry’ and walked off, having failed to hypnotise anyone.

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Just had a flashback to a god-awful gig from many years ago.

Midge Ure doing a solo tour which took him to the rock mecca that is The Robin2 in Bilston, imagine Wembley Arena but in the Black Country and limited to maybe 200 standing but with a bar which sold beer for a couple of £.

We went along expecting a few (possibly acoustic) Ultravox, Visage and Slik songs with a few of his own hits. How mistaken we were, as were the majority of the audience.

He started out playing a few tracks which he’d recently written but which weren’t available so no-one knew any of them, after a couple people started chatting among themselves which he wasn’t best pleased with. He stopped and told eveyone to be quiet and be respectful of his music which I guess was reasonable.

He then went into a full-on rant about people who created music in their bedrooms and didn’t serve their proper music apprenticeships of giging in shit holes (oh the irony), it must have been around the time of Daniel Beddingfield’s ‘bedroom’ hit.

Being quite a small venue he heard when someone asked if he was going to play anything we might know, he generously played ‘If I Was’ and then went back to the unknown stuff, exit stage left for 50% of the crowd, how we wished we’d done the same but we stuck it out to the bitter end. No encore, no Ultravox/Visage.

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File under “prima donna artistes.”

My wife took her dad to see Bob Dylan for his 60th. They returned home entirely nonplussed and more than a little confused. He apparently never ever plays his songs in the standard arrangements preferring to improv them and choosing obscure tracks as well. Plus, you know, he mumbles :joy:…Apparently her dad, a fan since the early days, only knew he was playing a hit very occasionally when he caught the odd intelligible word. And it went on for hours…

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