Weekly club rides are generally called “The Club Run” even though it means a bike ride - as it’s a run out.
I don’t enjoy going out for a “social” ride (whatever that is) or stopping on rides of under 5 hours.
I can easily hold a conversation at 33kmh. Which is under 5hrs for 162km (ish). And if I’ve spent 5hrs with people, why the hell do I need to spend more time chatting with them???
I’ve said everything. Like. All of the words.
Chaingangs are best. 40km / 70mins at an effort. Get dropped, tough luck, you’re out.
I got them up and running AND WORKING post-lockdown, but they died a death as people don’t like being dropped, doing turns on the front, or not being able to “bag” some inane strava segment.
Hilly rides are also a joke. As I’m a bit fat and slow uphill, everyone waits for me … then I descend like a normal person and end up waiting for everyone else. So it turns a 3.5hr ride into 4hrs.
And as I’m a bit heavier than a typical cyclist, I like going downhill with no brakes, to get momentum up the other side. So don’t brake in front of me. I need momentum. You weigh about 3 stone wet, so will come flying past me anyhow.
That’s what annoys me off about group rides.
And the gaps between wheels.
I could fit a bus between some of them.
And the weaving over the road when looking round, or taking a drink, it’s embarrassing.
When I started road cycling, I got a telling off most Tuesday/Thursday evenings. Got my saddle held, bars held, shoulder pushed, butt shoved - until I could ride properly.
Do that stuff now and there’d be uproar.
Not many people can handle their bike, they just turn the pedals and point it in a general direction.
And when they turn the pedals, it’s not a smooth circular action, it’s a MASH THEM TO THE MAX action. Learned from maximising Zwift power.
Oh, and the creaks. And dirty bikes. And lack of maintenance skills. “My chain has snapped. I’m calling my wife for a lift home”
Eh? Your chain looks about 19 years old. And my wife would tell me to **** walk home, you absolute baby man. Get your chain tool out and fix it. Oh, you don’t have one “‘cos a big saddle bag ruins my SWorks aesthetic”
Nah met, your utter lack of respect for your wife’s time ruins the aesthetic.
So I don’t ride in groups anymore.