I’ve been in bed for a week with the worst flu ever known ever in existence ! But worst ! !
All fitness gone and still struggling for breath,I’m struggling but it will come back.
Today was actually easier press ups and lunges wise… I was very very nearly you, as you say there are no right or wrong answers here, just choices.
My life looks perfect from the outside but as always in these cases it’s anything but, keep moving old timer and keep LO moving faster as long as you can, in all cases life is what you make it
Sorry only just seen this and not sure how much relates to me directly, I hope not the last line.
I’ve just tried to be honest about my own situation, which is of course, that of myself and my wife combined.
Why am I an old dad? A few reasons but mainly my wife is 8 years younger and was focussed on career, then when she did decide she wanted to have children we couldn’t.
Eventually, we jacked our jobs in and went round the world and she got pregnant in NZ.
Would I have ideally had our son at a younger age? Yes
Am I a better dad than I would have been if it had happened 10 years earlier? Without doubt
So, no regrets and am planning accordingly. I’m lucky to be very well paid for what I do and as you say, it’s a maths game. The difference between us all is around what we consider to be acceptable … and that’s a very individual choice
Been talking about this all weekend …
Obviously quite emotive and the last thing I would want to do on my favourite web site is offend anyone.
It’s just money.
A girl walked into admin 3? Years ago and handed her notice in, her Aunty had died and left her 7 figures, she was mid thirties.
No intention of ever working again.
I was talking to a guy who’s over 60 who remarried late, he has a huge mortgage, I imagine all of us are in between these two.
I have a very low basic wage but lots of free time for overtime which is better paid and certainly at the moment unlimited ( I’m on a bedwatch now !)
I’ve saved 22 thousand pounds this year.
Same again next year and I can walk, but I really don’t want to “ give up “ another 12 months.
2-3 years and that will do probably, steady as she goes
Slightly late reply but I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision not having kids. There’s no guarantee they’d be around to look after you when you are old anyway if they’ve moved away etc., and it’s definitely too late now. Luckily I don’t dwell on it for long as there’s not much I can do about it now. Don’t really think the GF was ever that bothered either.
I’m hoping a combination of lifestyle choices might keep me well and able to look after myself for most of my days, both of my parents only went downhill right at the very end.
I’m comfortable with the memories and things I’ve done so far.
Right now I’m like a couple of others that have no desire to work longer than I need to, but also admire those of you who have either chosen or want to work longer for whatever reason. I think that when I do really get close to it there’ll be an element of fear about being bored or losing the routine in life, but I’m sure I could find employment again if I was really desperate.
Anyway, I (belatedly) hope you are feeling better mungo after what sounds like a grim week or so, certainly a lot of nasty bugs going about so far this winter.
That was hands down point blank the worst cold / flu I’ve ever had.
We are all fit guys and girls on here, compared to the gen pop we must be in the top 5,4,3?! % at least … but one of tri talks finest stood at the bottom of the stairs in his house and thought
“ am I going to make this ?”
I did but was seriously out of breath at the top?!
Considering what I had just achieved, it was ridiculous, all better now, but a very nasty infection no less
I think I’ve told this before but I lost two lovely girlfriends in my early 30”s as I 100% didn’t want children … they obviously did
My son was the result of a very short relationship … read into that what you will…!
He knows this and we couldn’t be better friends, as cobbie discussed being a dad made me a better person, I was a bit of a selfish (unt to be honest .
Look forward not back… no regrets ! Lol
I’ve been ill since the day after the ParkRun with Matt and Adam, which has been almost 4 weeks. I’ve had a cough that is just refusing to go. I think it’s just a combination of a heavy cold and general fatigue along with being a bit older and maybe not being as resilient as I was after my covid bout, which floored me last year. Feeling every one of my 52 years at the moment.
Yep, that was the subtext of my comment but I was a bit strapped for time so hoped it was obvious
Doing Norseman & OtillO was cathartic for me in terms of feeling that I was a “proper” athlete and allowed me to let go of a lot of sporting baggage.
Likewise, moving from a reasonably senior role to being freelance when I realised I didn’t want or need to be in charge any more.
Without both of the above in my life, I probably still be a bit of a selfish (unt
And that would have been a pity, being a dad is pretty much the best experience of my life and I couldn’t be happier that I get to properly enjoy it
A little bundle of life being handed to a mid 30”s playboy, flash car, house and lifestyle, I had no clue what to do !
But like life in general you just pick it up as you go along.
He says I’ve done a good job, which was lovely to hear! his two older brothers really are lovely guys, they have never known there dad, at all… which is a huge shame.
My father is coming towards the end of his life, what a dad he’s been ! I’ll never be as good … but I’ll tri!
We always assumed that we would have kids (everyone has them, right?), but I don’t think either of us had a strong “need” to have kids. When for various reasons things didn’t work out that way, it wasn’t the end of the world for us. I’ve seen other couples who were torn apart when they couldn’t produce a baby, but we were never in that space, even when we were trying IVF.
Ironically, the closest we ever came to having a baby happened years after we’d given up on the idea. If things had worked out differently, I would have become a dad when I was 40 and Mrs W would have been 44. I’m sure we would have been good (if slightly anxious) parents, but we would be in a very different position now. I think I’d be expecting to work into my 60s and we would almost certainly have had to move to somewhere with better schools and probably increased/extended our mortgage. I think post-retirement plans would have been different too, with thoughts around helping our offspring onto the housing ladder and probably wanting to be close to where they live too.
I’ve always generally enjoyed the work that I’ve done, but ultimately it’s been a means of paying the bills and I would have given up in an instant if I didn’t need the money. I’ve got friends who have loads of money in the bank and are still working into their late 50s/60s because they love the buzz of doing deals or running their business.
When I retire, I want to feel that I have enough money in pension and savings to be comfortable and not to have to worry about money. I wouldn’t want to give up work early and then have to worry about every penny and maybe not be able to go on holiday and do events. Mrs W is 55 next week, so in theory se could start to take her pension now and I could give up work today, but if we delay until I’m 55 we’ll have another 5 years or so of pension contributions and growth and we’ll be that bit more comfortable.
Mrs W effectively “retired” 5 years ago and we’ve been living off my salary alone since then. When I retire and we start drawing don on both of our pensions, we’ll have the benefit of being able to use both of our tax free allowances, so we should be able to draw down a decent amount of pension without paying too much tax.
does it really? I’ve never felt any pressure or any expectation that we should have kids - not even from parents who always had the view it was our choice and never asked why we didn’t have or trying to have them. Maybe I’ve been more fortunate than many who do have kids due to pressures - and often regret.
Depends on your definition of pressure I guess. If someone has kids ‘because everyone else is’ that’s pretty stupid, likewise, parental pressure of ‘you need to give us grandchildren’ especially in Asian cultures can be manipulative.
Having said that, there is another kind of pressure and that is from your partner/ spouse. they are trickier waters to navigate because people’s mind can change and what you are adamant about in your 30s can be different in your 40s.
Then it comes down to ‘what do I value most, money/freedom and knowing one of us is desperate for something else’ or think ’ let’s give it a shot’, knowing that your relatively unburdened life will change.
That pressure is hard to deal with, let alone the guilt. One of you ends up living a life they don’t particularly want to please the other. Or the relationship implodes but sadly by then, it’s usually biologically too late for woman and puts a man in the ‘who would want to have kids with someone my age’ territory (unless they’re minted).
I could happily wind the clock back and pretend LO never was and Mrs FP and I would still be together I’m pretty sure but at what price? Knowing I didn’t do all I could to step up and at least try. Sadly for my back account, stress levels and free time, we succeeded.
My parents never directly asked us about kids, but they’d been married for 10 years before my brother came along as a bit of a surprise in an era when people had kids earlier, so they obviously had issues producing kids themselves. Apparently, some people actually thought my brother was adopted .
Mrs W’s mum was a lot more direct. She’s a Greek Cypriot and their culture is very much about having kids. In Cyprus, couples move in with one set of parents when they get engaged try like mad to get pregnant. Usually, the bride is up the duff when they get married and if the woman doesn’t get pregnant within a year or so the wedding is off and she’s considered damaged goods .
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