1 lap of Wales at pro pace? ouch!
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Biggest mistake: I rode a damaged Hed 3c trispoke front wheel (heat damaged brake track - very rough like sand paper) in a local Olympic Tri and, shortly before the end of the bike leg, the front brake vibrated free of its fork mount and few off, restrained only by the cable. It gave me a bit of a shock but I grabbed it and hooked it over the bars and finished the bike leg very carefully. Stupid. Iāve still got the wheel which I plan to make into a wall clock, or sell to a track rider, either or.
One year at the now defunct HIM at Yepoon in Qld, I came out of the swim and by my bike I had a couple of gels in a flask decanted with a bit of water. HR was high and I wasnāt settled, went to swig from the gel flask and nothing came out (as I hadnāt popped the valve up), I squeezed harder pumped full of adrenaline and the whole top flew off and I was covered in gel.
Swearing madly, I left T1 and headed out through the resort complex, of race central, pouring water over myself and wiping crazily with my hands. I then managed to knock the bike computer off of my handlebars, where it flew out in front of me and I promptly ran it over and smashed it.
In the space of 250mtrs, I lost my nutrition, my computer and my composure. I came 6th from last 
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I thought of another one. Came out of the water at Gullane Triathlon after a rough and freezing N. Sea swim. I was so drunk with cold that 200m out of transition on the bike I reached down for a bottle, put my arm through the frame triangle and sort of flipped myself off the bike sideways. Bam. I canned the race there and then and shuffled back to transition where a friendly ambulance lady gave me a NHS blanket and scrubbed my road rash. Took me an hour to defrost.
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As Iām very much an amateur I donāt do fly mounts. I also use Speedplay cleats and find they are a little prone to clogging up.
One year, when I was very under prepared, I did the Cotswold 113 and needed a pee towards the beginning of the bike. Being the amateur I am that involves getting off the bike, and where I stopped was quite muddy. The result being a clogged up cleat and I couldnāt clip back in for most of the bike.
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ā¦youāve reminded me!
My BTA bottle vibrated free leaving the water park and I had no drink for most of the first lap (missed all of the marshalls drinks!) and had to stop to pick it up on lap 2.
My saddle bag then vibrates free is swinging against my leg and I had to stop to undo it and shove down my Tri suit.
Still rode a 2:27 and beat @Jorgan 
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ā¦and so you should, a bloke 2 AGs above you 
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Long Course Weekend @ Wales there is a large bike loop and then a half loop that follows the same course. Was out front and got to the turnoff for the 2nd lap before the marshal was there & oblivious did another large lap. Total 216km instead of the 180. Funny story my mate tells when I caught him on the 2nd lap.
Me: Hey up Chris (genuinely pleased to see him)
Chris: WTF are you doing here?
Me: What do you mean, your on your 1st lap right?
Chris: No 2nd, look around, you with your pointy helmet, speed suit etc and us like were on our Sunday ride.
Me. Shit, how have I F**cked this up haha.
https://www.strava.com/activities/1702126361
Same race but the Sunday mara:
At the start with my club mates chatting away not really paying attention & gun goes off, shit were off. Having a tough time getting round the other runners and complaining to my self about the much slower runners that have positioned themselves at the front of the field; err seems to be a lot of kidsā¦ Iāve only set of with the kids (with parents) race that goes a few mins before the mara. Have to run back against the field to the start of the mara that has already started & join the back to cross the line again.
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Still got top 50 overall in the LCW finishers.
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THatās funny. And surely the false start shouldāve been a DQ 
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I went back and crossed the start line again to re-start.
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but you did win the dayās bukkake prizeā¦ 
Brilliant 
Best thing about finishing LCW was that pasty shop round the back of the church.
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Yeah Itās a fine shop that. Salty chips for me though directly after the race.
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loaned a pair of bike shoes to a guy next to me in transition who had forgotten hisā¦and he beat meā¦
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I caught my brother on the bike and thought I would sit back a little and have a gel. Couldnāt get the empty wrapper back into my pocket. Decided to stuff it up shorts. Looked down and rode into the raised grass verge š¤¦
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Wasnāt sure whether to tell this story; but what the hell Iām never going to meet any of you 
Its a long story and involves 
so you may want to scroll on past
So Iām in Klagenfurt for IM Austria 2019, itās Friday night and I am at the Hotel buffet. Time to start stocking up on the grub thinks Sparky. Oh that fish looks tempting letās get that on the plate. So Iām getting stuck in to my tucker and look down at my fish and notice that it is a little pink and uncooked. I really hate wasting food so I ate around it. I retired upstairs and noticed a little gurgling in my stomach but I have quite a good constitution and promptly fell asleep.
About 2 in the morning I woke and everything was not right. I pulled back the sheets and realised that I had the bed. (I have never ever done that before and hope I never ever again) What you are imagining right now is about 50% of the reality that presented itself to me. It took me an hour to clear everything up. I then made myself a make shift nappy and went back to sleep in the other bed. (Thank god I was on my own)
Saturday morning I am feeling rough as. I miss meeting up with my friends for the induction. So how do I fix this? Yes get thee to a pharmacist. So I walk there very gingerly doing the penguin shuffle and ensuring on no account not to fart.
In that part of Austria English is not great but I manage to explain my predicament, the guy gets some Imodium and then tries to explain how to take them. Basically you a take a tablet; if that doesnāt stop any further explosions you take another until you are blocked up. As I say he couldnāt really speak English, so in a full busy pharmacy he resorted to miming explosions. I wish you could have seen it (I was tempted to pretend that I didnāt understand to see how long he would continue but that seemed cruel)
Anyway I did the race (an hour slower that expected) and on Monday I came to check out. There was a long queue but when it was my turn I was presented with the bill. āWhatās this extra 50 euros for?ā I asked. Now as I said before the English was not great. Her response was āSir, you destroyed the bedā
Iām sure that everyone in the queue heard. I very quickly paid my bill and hi-tailed it out of there. I donāt think that I have ever been more embarrassed in my life
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reminds me of a story of an acquaintance who was in transit from the Marathon de Sable to the North Pole Marathon and suffering from a stomach bug. he had to change planes at Munich and promply shat himself at the check in desk as he was close to missing the flight and hadnāt stopped at the bog on the way.
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Thanks for sharing ā¦ ish.
Lol!