Your run strategy is simply based on getting from one portaloo to the next.
…you haven’t shaved your legs and more.
You are the Iron Cowboy
Or that you don’t have enough left in the tank to get away from the guy who couldn’t get his speed suit off in time before his guts erupted (IMCH 2010)
… it isn’t Norseman
Also … if you don’t feel like a hamster in a wheel by the end
Its not in O’ahu
It’s not a mass start swim
You did UK in 2018
Or Roth in 2021
Or just about any Lakesman
… you don’t attempt at least once to piss down your leg to save time
You haven’t shit yourself after taking 16 gels on the bike leg….,
… you haven’t at least once said in passing, ‘I don’t mind - as long as I make the bike cut off, then…’
It’s not in Bolton
… you don’t turn up to register in your previous Ironman finishers T shirt
I wore a LOMACHENKO t shirt.
Someone thought it was a race in Japan…?!
… you haven’t stood in T1 with your bike racked and ready, looked around and wondered, ‘what the fuck is it exactly that takes everyone else so long?…’