go to your personal preferences for your account - shows up on there
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MR report card
Swimming C-
MR managed 54,000 yards of swimming this year, but notably around 8-10k per month for the months when the pool was actually open. Aside from having developed an odd issue of recording things in anachronistic units this at least shows a limited underlying commitment to a sport that he otherwise professes to actively dislike.
Cycling B-
MR has continued to keep the miles up this year. Garmin has recorded him doing well over 4000 miles but this doesn’t include spin bike sessions so the true total may well be 1.5 times that. His real weakness is that he has the mass of a small elephant such that inclines of over 5% cause him to red-line. He also handles the bike like a small elephant, resulting in a nasty fall when no-one else was near him, and in fact he was only travelling at about 10mph. I’m pleased to say he’s picked himself up and got back on his bike, though it took him 2 months (snowflake tendencies possibly). Still, can’t fault his effort, although effort alone won’t win him anything.
Still, I am pleased to report he has continued to be an avid sponsor of various cycling retailers, spending like the leader of a banana republic (or possibly Brewster divesting his fortune). This spending seems to have occurred at odds with his actual cycling…that is to say, spending was inversely proportionate to cycling. If he didn’t cycle, he’d spend. If he cycled, his wallet stayed shut. Very curious…but MR has nonetheless equipped himself for every possible cycling malady. Why he has a bike for every occasion, a gym set-up that should make him a champion and enough kit to start his own shop. If he could only take his obvious passion for this sport and channel it into weight loss he might go far…or at least go faster up your average hill.
Running E
He has hopelessly regressed this year. Despite a total of 985km, this was largely in the first half of 2020 and then he appears to have become almost phobic about running. He only runs outside now if if it’s actually dark, and preferably lightly raining, so as to avoid bumping into anyone else (and being overtaken by them). Unsurprisingly his pace has also slipped a great deal. Because if no-one else is about and he can’t therefore be overtaken, he doesn’t trouble himself to try and run fast.
Triathlon U
MR entered a Triathlon late on this year only to decide not to go after finding he’d developed a significant cough the week before that seemed to linger and flare up after exertion. I’m extremely worried about these snowflake tendencies. As if anyone would be worried that he had a bit of a cough?!
Tri-talk D
An alarming tendency to lapse into Guardianista left-wing codswallop aside, he simply doesn’t contribute enough. He tells me this is because he is “working” and that his job doesn’t allow him to go on the internet so often, but I suspect a hidden agenda…or the fact that he’s preternaturally shy and only bothers to post when he’s had a beer or two.
Weight U
MR’s efforts this year at weight loss can be summarised as follows; spring term- give up booze, eat healthily, lose modest amount of weight; summer term- drink like life depends on it, eat BBQ food literally every single night; autumn term- continue prodigious alcohol consumption but now combined with single-minded quest to find best doner kebab in Chester. A pointless quest. Unless the point was to find food that only tastes nice when drunk. In which case, well done MR. But overall, a 2 stone swing in weight since last year is a very very poor effort indeed.
Overall: must try harder. Or perhaps, couldn’t do worse. Roll on 2021.
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Who would turn up at a race with a constant cough these days…?!
You would clear the whole event, your posts are some of the best, you don’t have to be super fast to have a brain, and vice versa … as this site proves.
Your report was overly harsh … I suggest it’s sent to the head master for arbitration .?!
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You’re very kind. Still got that saddle in my car…never got round to taking it out!!
Bought two more since then …!
It’s appreciated though…
Me too…awaiting a new one for turbo bike.
I suspect the answer to the question…”how can you make a turbo trainer bike saddle comfy?” is “take it off the turbo and go outside…”
I won’t stop trying though, as it makes no sense to me that I can do 3 -6 hours outside and yet 2 on a turbo is an absolute killer…
Don’t know how you do it. Buttocks of steel!
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I have two dash 9 saddles, lush, but very expensive, although the really long 7 hour turbo I did was on the fabric tri saddle, very nearly as comfy and much cheaper.
Assos saddle cream and race skin ( ld ) pad tri shorts were also part of the puzzle…
We’re all built differently … it’s finding the set up that suits you and your “ bum bits “
Agree totally. But short of a machine that will measure my arse and tell me that I want a spesh this-or-that (because they have that machine) it’s all a bit hit or miss.
My fave trad saddle was a fabric scoop, but I do value being able to pee downwards after a ride and with that I was hitting the ceiling for at least an hour afterwards. Seriously…had to pee in the shower and cover my face (ok last bit was a joke).
So for men I think these cut-outs are deffo important. I like the idea of Dash saddles (now called something else) but it’s the upfront cost if they don’t work that gets me. I reckon thru’ years of guesswork I’m getting closer to perfection though…still won’t make me a static bike freak like you though…that’s probably 20% saddle, 80% head.
Also have a Dash 9, then added a Dash 7.
Absolute game changers; ripped my arse to pieces doing a 12 hour TT on an Adamo and was off the bike for 2 weeks.
Desperation ‘money no object’ purchase of the Dash 9 and have done 3 12 hours since with minimal issues. Stupidly expensive but I would say one of my best purchases.
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Got mine off flea bay, one has the odd Mark … the other was virtually brand new.
There’s a perfect white one flying about one there at the min …?!
I really wish I wasn’t so tight sometimes.
Best tri related thing I’ve ever bought
The end.
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Duckhen’s school report
Swimming C
Began the year well with attendance at the local masters swim club, carried this through to a strong early open water revision program. However the autumn term has seen a lack of consistency, Hen is reluctant to continue open water swimming during the autumn despite ample opportunity. He mistakenly believes that donning a wetsuit will cover his lack of hard work in this area. I fear a shock is in store for thus student.
Cycling A
Hen achieved a 50 Mile PB this season, disappointingly didn’t have the opportunity to transfer this to a target 100 time. As a mature student he continues to put the hours in on the bike. Unfortunately he is still unwilling to commit to a structured training plan or coach which would lift his grade to an A*.
Running D
Spring lockdown saw some excellent training runs, with good times as Hen built towards Roth, once that got canned he was unable or unwilling to maintain committed effort. Despite knowing the ‘bike for show, run for dough’ Macca mantra he continues to take the easy option of cycling rather than running.
DIY A
Mrs Hen has been amazed at the progress in this area, a purpose built shed, extended patio and currently widening the block paved driveway to get all the cars off the road.
Drinking A*
Dedicated consistent attitude to red wine, total disregard of all other alcoholic beverages despite a hot summer and experimentation with cold Peroni, I would recommend further study of this subject.
Overall
Hen has been a Zwift user for some years but recently discovered Zwiftracing which has shown him to be Absolutely useless at anything above FTP, any form of race craft and totally unwilling to sit in the bunch.
He refuses to fulfill his potential because he will not do as he is told, will not state his goals for 2021 because that would mean sticking to some kind of strategy. He mistakenly thinks that as he ages up he might still qualify …
Tri talk C
Steady progress to establish the social protocols and personalities that frequent thus department. Has improved his attendance since another forum became hostile due to political discussions, General trolling and an absence of race information.
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hehe these are great 
I’ll have a think.
Don’t worry, it’ll be as narcissistic as you’re hoping 
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Running A+
At first it looked like YKK was a bit daunted by the achievement’s of the previous year, (pbs across all distances and 5500k). The early part of the was spent stumbling around trying to run to a low HR in very humid conditions without seeming much progress.
However as lockdown approached a fast 8.3k showed he was moving in the right direction.
Lockdown was embraced fully with many local segments nabbed by him running down the centre of traffic free roads, her had hoped this would set him up for a good winter/autumn, but a reoccurrence of a hamstring injury whilst trying to stay in front of a girl during some 100m reps put pay to any thoughts of a fast 10k.
However showed a lot of resilience to come back from that to have a solid Winter and Spring, even winning his AG in the local village marathon and a national title for running around a 400m oval for a long long time.
It looks like he will end up over 6.5k for the year and from what I can tell is even more daunted for the new year…
Cycling C
Although it looks like a reasonable amount of cycling took place, most of it is ferrying his daughter around the local village at 8 year pace. It seems he like’s to think he is a cyclist still, but a drop in watts when he does do some serious riding when injury prevents him from running suggest otherwise. It is a shame as I think the potential is there, but he has to understand you need to ride for longer than 20 minutes. Also seems to be the only person left on his forum that does not have a Zwift account, which again shows his lack of cycling ambition.
Swimming Z
One swim of 750m and that was only because it was free after going to a (legit) massage place to use a voucher he had won. Again, I think there is potential, but a lot of work is required here. Hopefully when his daughter starts overtaking him his competitive nature may help him re-assess, although if his local summer pool does not inspire him to get in, there is the chance nothing will.
Triathlon B
Definitely lloks like he is still in retirement from triathlons, but the hamstring injury put him on a bike enough to help him come 3rd in his AG in the national sprint duathlon champs.
Drinking A
Despite the previous 25 years of solid drinking, 2020 must go down as one of his finest efforts. Lockdown zoom quiz’s helped as the after party (drinking) and the proximity of the fridge allowed his voracity of drinking to reach new heights proven by his consistent falling asleep before the after party had finished. After lockdown, he carried on his new found ability in the only way an overachieving 45 year old would.
DIY B
YKK bought lots of wood at the start of lockdown to build stuff, but disappointingly he focused more on the drinking than the building. Did redeem himself when injured by building a veggie garden and integrating the irrigation system for his long suffering wife.
Tritalk D
Despite not doing any triathlons for 4 years, still finds the forum an interesting one to read. Luckily due to retirement, does not need to use it to read fascinating threads such as base vs box. But more now to keep up with the views of normal(ish) folk from his homeland. Should contribute more however, hence the low grading.
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Well, in my younger days the Caspian was head and shoulders above anywhere else. I used to buy tubs of their home made chilli sauce.
It was when one of them waved at me as I walked past mid afternoon that I realised I should visit less frequently 
On the subject of saddles, I had terrible saddle sores when I first increased my mileage to 100+ miles / week average. I tried a stubby saddle (now on the turbo which hasn’t been used since June 2019) but eventually took a deep breath and embraced a Brooks Cambium. Never looked back since 
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There is a machine in the Bike Factory. When I went there I learnt that whether you need a cutout or not is largely dependent on how flexible you are around the hips … the more flexible you are, the greater the importance of a cutout.
Assuming you’re local to Hoole, you’re welcome to borrow my Brooks to see if it works for you (having seen the light on my summer bike, I bought one for the winter bike too so I have one that I’m not using just now)
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Swimming C+
Thomas has only swam for 32 hours this year, covering 117km. That’s 1:41/100m, including drills and mixed strokes.
His only competitive swim was in the Arctic waters of Helvellyn. He measured it at 1900m and swam under 30 minutes, however, we at school believe that to be about as accurate as his Zwift weight 
Thomas is still under the impression he can continue to knock out sub 6min 400s off little to no swim training. This remains to be seen.
But he’s still quicker than @Jorgan
Cycling B-
318 hours covering 8,576km.
Thomas isn’t a natural cyclist, nor does he apply himself to any sort of specialist “training,” nor does he really enjoy cycling, that belies the fact he spent close to 25 hours on a bike in one week this year.
Thomas’ three day Tour de Cheshire started with a 262km ride, then he recovered with a short 100km ride the next day, before knocking out an easy 161km on the Friday, all during a heatwave.
For someone who proclaims he doesn’t enjoy cycling and suffers from the heat, he sure seemed to do well that week.
Outside of cycling slowly, Thomas failed to live up to expectations on competition weekends this year. A time trial DNS, Helvellyn limped round complaining about the weather and a time trial DNF.
Thomas must learn to apply himself here, if he’s to live up to his mediocre expectations.
However, he’s still quicker than @Jorgan
Running C+
95hrs 1,154km, just under 5:00/km.
Thomas started the year very well, in fact, he was in 79 minute shape in March, but his race was cancelled and he didn’t use that fitness. Thomas took the easy option of knocking out a run/walk for a 1:35 time and collected his race bag.
Thomas has ran multiple sub 20 minute 5km and one sub 40 minute 10km his year. Like swimming, he’s under the impression he can knock 2/4 minutes off both of these with a few weeks of focus.
Thomas needs to realise he’s soon to be 40 and his body doesn’t recover as well as it used to.
It’s always nice to have Thomas in class, as he animates the rest of the class into action.
Triathlon F
The less said about this one, the better.
But he did crush @Jorgan like a grape in 2019.
Spending Money A+
Thomas excels at this subject.
Seemingly every day, Thomas has thought of some new and unique way to dispose of his income.
Got a nice nest egg you need rid of?
Easy - Just move house and it’ll vanish in a matter of weeks!
Got a few grand lying around?
Boom - Nike will take that from your hands.
Need to dispose of your monthly disposable income?
Rapha will have that. And then some.
Drinking A+
Yet another way to dispose of cash.
Thomas’ consumption during lockdown reached near-alcoholic levels. He can count on his fingers and toes how many non-drinking days he’s has since March 23rd.
This is nothing to be proud of, even though his classmates seem to think it is and keep egging him on.
TriTalk B+
Thomas enjoyed meeting his classmates in the Lake District this summer, but would like to see more of them.
However, if he continues to spend his working days posting, then he could soon find himself working part-time again.
Summary A
Thomas still harbours a desire to go sub-10, which won’t be fulfilled at his current rate of drinking and lying about his weight on Zwift.
However, there’s more to life than triathlon and Thomas has managed to strike a good balance, so well done and continue the good work in 2021 
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Tritalk - A
Chris has settled into class well, and contributes well during certain classes such inane drivel and Lionel Sanders. He needs to contribute more widely however, and I would like to see him start, or pile into a few rows on the political threads next year.
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Thanks. I’m out in the sticks at Mickle Trafford. I have a specialised power something coming today. I’m happy as anything out and about (on ism pn)- it’s the turbo that kills me (on ism pl- wider saddle). Legs incredibly painful afterwards and think it’s because saddle is actually too wide. But the pn costs like £200 and I don’t need to go aero on my turbo ever so thought I’d try something different. I’ve tried the “sitting on cardboard” method so I’ve got a decent idea that I have surprisingly narrow hipbones…managing to marry that up with actual saddle sizing is throwing me!
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