Race report from the weekend, the one I wrote for the club whatsapp. Club run with clipboards and a watch, cost £2.
Run 1 4.6km
Bike 18km ish
Run 2 2.3km
Duathlon Race Report: The "I Forgot My Armwarmer” Edition
Pre-Race: Optimism vs. Frostbite
I arrived and racked up early, enjoying the luxury of actual racks rather than leaning my pride and joy on the grass. The briefing was mercifully brief, which was great, except for the fact that I’d turned up in essentially a swimsuit while the temperature was hovering somewhere near “Arctic.” I hadn’t brought gloves or arm warmers, so I spent the pre-race period staring intensely at a very shy sun, hoping for a heatwave that never came. To add to the pre-race jitters, I overheard someone casually mention an 18-minute Parkrun and Chris Brown turning. At that point, I realised I’d be chasing some dust clous.
Run 1: The Shoelace Sabotage
We set off and, true to form, Chris and Fabio vanished into the distance like they’d heard a starter pistol and I’d heard a polite suggestion. My watch flashed 3:30/km - a pace my lungs informed me was “unauthorised” - so I settled back to something that wouldn’t result in a medical tent visit.
I managed to eke out a gap from the chasing pack until my equipment betrayed me. An errant shoelace forced a stop, allowing the pack to swarm me like I was standing still (which, technically, I was). I managed to find my rhythm again, hitting T1 in 19:33, trailing Fabio and Chris by 15 seconds but with a 20-second cushion on the “big pack.”
The “Relaxation” Phase (T1)
I took full advantage of the neutralised transition time. While others were treating it like an actual race, I treated it like a spa day. I even wrestled on overshoes, which is my official excuse for the slow time, though I noticed a few others taking even more “me time” in the changing area. Peer pressure is a wonderful thing.
The Bike: Aero Bars and Near Misses
Heading out, I saw the trio of Craddock, Darrin, and Lehna already disappearing up the road. The ride started with a wobbly start, followed by some “character-building” gusts and a terrible road surface on Sandringham Crescent that felt like riding over a corrugated roof.
I finally tucked into the aero bars on Coopers Green Lane and managed to reel in Mr. Craddock. I had Darrin, too, until we hit the first hill toward Wheathampstead, where he went back past reminded me that he actually has gears and probably does a chunk more cycling than me right. Between my lack of saddle time and a distinct lack of climbing cogs, every incline felt like pedaling through treacle. My legs checked out early on the St Albans Road, power dropped 10W, and I got back to the dismount line where my rear tyre decided to turn the finish into a drift competition with a hairy lock up.
Bike Time: 35:30.
Run 2: The Long Way Up
After another “leisurely” T2, it was time for the dreaded second run. It’s that special part of the day where your legs feel like they belong to someone else. I focused on holding form and survived the final climb, clocking a 10:19. I was comforted to see my time was right up there with Lehna and Chris, even if Fabio was still operating at a speed that suggests he’s part-cheetah.
The Verdict
Total Time: 1:05:22
Result: 3rd Place 
A podium finish! I missed out on 2nd by just 6 seconds to Lehna, whose bike leg was speedy. Next time: more gears, better knots in my laces, and maybe, just maybe, some arm warmers.
